Review by Tony Brewer
Our October meeting, held via Zoom, was introduced by Hester Brown, our Secretary, and herself a Humanist celebrant. What, she asked, is a Humanist ceremony and what do Humanist celebrants do?
A Humanist ceremony is an event to mark and celebrate any of the big moments in life, most obviously the naming of a child or a marriage or a funeral but not necessarily restricted just to these events. What makes them special is that they are based on Humanist philosophy, they are designed to uphold everyone’s values and dignity, they are non-religious and non-ethnic, and they reflect the needs, wants, values and life stories of the participants.
Hester then introduced Ginny Collins, Head of Celebrant Training for Humanists UK. Ginny explained that, although anyone can call themselves a humanist celebrant, those who have been selected, trained and accredited by Humanists UK fully understand their role and have been specially trained and prepared for the work. The main reasons why people choose to become celebrants are that it is a very public extension of their Humanist beliefs, it is a role that is both challenging and satisfying, and it’s work that can be combined with normal employment and family commitments. All applicants undergo a screening process that looks for an awareness of Humanism and Humanists UK, strong interpersonal skills, the ability to listen, ask questions and empathise, ability to write and make presentations, and, last but not least, reliability. The training prepares applicants to carry out namings, marriages and funerals, with separate training programmes for each.
Next we heard from Audrey Simmons, who described what it’s like being a marriage celebrant. She explained that although most couples know what they don’t want, very few know what they do want, so the celebrant has to get to know them, find out what’s important to them and what their marriage ceremony should emphasise. Audrey admitted that she is very nosy and asks a lot of very direct questions but the result is, she believes, that she is able to deliver for them a really memorable day. She mentioned that a frequent problem is that, although the marrying couple a committed to each other their families sometimes are not and this potential hostility needs to be identified and dealt with.
Phil Walder then talked about naming ceremonies. He pointed out that, unlike marriages and funerals, there is no obvious structure for a naming ceremony so every one needs to be designed from scratch and it leaves much more for the celebrant to do. But namings are also generally smaller and more intimate, just the parents and their respective families. He said he likes to find something unusual and uniquely associated with the child. For one ceremony, the naming of a baby called Orla Rose, he devised an Orla Rose cocktail, gave the ingredients to the parents to mix and then distribute the cocktail to everyone to toast the baby.
Finally Becky Tee spoke about funerals. She has been an accredited celebrant for only 18 months. She receives requests via funeral directors, from Humanists UK or through the network of other Humanist celebrants. She sees her role as making an inevitably sad occasion less sad and even a joyful celebration of a life well lived. She finds that it is important to get a full life story of the deceased person from their family and from those who knew them. The challenges include the wide range of participants at a funeral, ranging from a small family group to perhaps well over 100, and also the need often to work to a very tight time schedule.
Following these presentations there was discussion and a some questions. In all, a very interesting meeting.
